Well, these have been troubling me since i went back to tekong. Apparently, i am surprised that i have grew to feeling for the recruits, and have placed alot more significance on their feelings.

Maybe its the storemans that have influenced me. They are the ones with a multitude of background issues that have taught me how to be more rational, and consider their personal factors when dealing with punishments. Maybe that explains the thousands of off pass i have signed.

Unfortunately, it seem that my new batch is quite scared of me. This is the first time i have let people have a taste of my mind manipulation. Unethical, but eventually, i am confident the person will thank me, just like how nicholas foo grew up.

Thus, i am bothered by the fact that some recruits are traumatized by me without any particular reason. Their unexplained fear from the statements they wrote in their reflection books really leave me confused.

Damn, i really do not know what to do. I am tired, and the efforts i am putting in are still the same, but i could feel it draining the energy off me. Soon, i may fall sick any moment.

But i must forever remember what Staff Fazli taught me: Treat each batch like a new batch! Since i treated my first batch with such fierce determination,i guess i shall reciprocate the same efforts.

Hold on, 11 more weeks.

aLm0nD~cUsTaRd blogged @ 11:44 AM